It’s the galaxy’s biggest sporting event this weekend – the DreadBall Interplanetary MegaBowl! To celebrate we’ve got FREE rules to download and some incredible offers on teams, books and mats over on the Mantic website. Don’t miss out.
Hello sports fans! Welcome to our second semi-final. As usual I’m joined by my eager co-host Dobbs. We’ll just have to wait a moment while Dobbs finishes his SlushyBurger.
Sorry Elmer, I skipped my third lunch today, so needed to grab a bite. I’m hoping this match is more enjoyable than Something Fishy’s victory over Dot Matrix.
We heard that Coach Martin fled the country after that game and is now hiding out, working on his new team.
God speed, Martin!
Anyway, onto today’s game and we’ve got a second NeoBots team heading to the pitch. The Go, Go, Go Bots have been the underdogs of this tournament, but they’ve made it through this far. Meanwhile, the Tsduo-Scientists have been a solid bet all the way through. The Tsudo-Fans have even started wearing gowns to games. Anyway, enough from us, let’s get on with the game.
Are you going to eat your SlushyDog, Elmer…?
GO, GO, GO BOTS
They’ve fought bravely throughout the stages of this tournament and I’m as surprised as you to see them here in the semis. They’ve got a pimped up paintjob, thanks to the folks at TurboDork, although it causes havoc with the stadium lights. If they’ve made it this far, could they have a fairytale ending and make it to the final?
Seemingly less concerned with the game itself, than the post-match press conference when they get to debate theological doctrine, the Tsudo-Scientists have become a popular team among the fans. With their ability to Push the opposition out of the way, they’re not a team to be underestimated and are, arguably, the favourites for this match.
Go, Go, Go Bots kick things off. Scratch, a Guard, ploughs straight into Des Cart, a Tsudochan Jack on the right wing. But nothing happens. Meanwhile, fellow Guard, Treds, on the left wing attempts to do better. Harris Tottle gets whacked in the philosophicals and is off for two Rushes. Coach Elvis plays a Jack Any Action card to move Dozer up towards the Tsudochan, while another Linked Jack, Ace, moves up too. Finally, Blaster the Striker grabs the ball but can’t quite make it to the Strike Zone. No points scored.
After meditating for a few moments, the Tsudo-Scientists spring into action. Nee Cher heads towards Blaster and sets up for an assist. Mark Zuh runs in for the Slam and BOOM! Completely misses after Nee Cher asked a question about relativity. Blaster doubles the Dodge and moves into the Strike Zone. Keen to make amends, coach Duncan uses a card to Slam again. This time it’s a success and Blaster is knocked down. The ball scatters back towards the Tsudo-Scientist half. Meanwhile, Hugh Muh uses his special Push ability to move a Guard out the way. Finally, Angry Tim comes onto the pitch and collects the ball. Still no score and the crowd are getting restless.
Treds is keen to do some more damage but fails miserably, after a Tsudo-Scientist confuses him by asking if robots have a soul. No problems for Scratch, however, who quickly knocks down Des Cart. In the middle of the pitch, Ace (Guard) moves towards Angry Tim but can’t quite make the Slam. He runs again and Slams into Angry Tim… with no effect. Go, Go, Go Bots end the Rush by standing up Blaster, despite being surrounded by the Tsudo-Scientists.
With no scores on the board, the crowd are starting to turn. Even the free theology leaflets handed out by the Tsduo-Scientists aren’t calming them down. The Tsudo-Scientists begin by pushing around the Go, Go, Go Bots to clear a path for Angry Tim. With the Guards out the way, Hugh Muh stands on the 2pt Strike Zone ready to receive the ball. Angry Tim pulls back his arm to throw the ball and… suddenly questions the merits of utilitarianism… the ball bounces off Hugh Muh’s head and scatters. Still no score and things are getting ugly.
Keen to get the crowd on their side, the Go, Go, Go Bots decide that violence is the best approach. All three Go, Go, Go Bots go in for Slams – one Tsudo-Scientist is knocked down, another gets injured for one Rush. Meanwhile, Dozer grabs the ball but, once again, can’t quite get to the Strike Zone to seal the deal. Maybe during the next Rush, someone needs to look at their wiring because we need a score on the board!
Harris Tottle moves off the subs bench to block Dozer from scoring. Hugh Muh, uses Push to move Dozer into a threat hex, while another Push is used to clear a Guard out the way. Coach Duncan buys a card – he needs all the help he can get at this point. Not having much success with Slamming, Angry Tim tries to Steal the ball instead, but Dozer just turns around to face him. Hugh Muh tries another Steal but fails again because he queried the moral implications of theft. We’re almost halfway and still no one has scored. Perhaps the previous semi-final wasn’t so bad after all?
I can see some crowd members have pulled out their PlayBoy Colours and are playing the latest MonsterMon Go, rather than watching the game. Dobbs, put your PlayBoy down! Go, Go, Go Bots go on the attack again – keen to clear some room for Dozer. Treds Slams into Hugh Muh and punches him right in the face… there’s no debating about how painful that is. Hugh is off for three Rushes. Ace runs in to hit Angry Tim and… it’s another injury! Angry Tim is not going to be happy about that and he’s off for a Rush. Scratch, goes in for a third Slam – this is getting violent. Whack! Another Tsudo-Scientist is off the pitch, they’ve hardly got anyone left. Finally, Dozer runs towards the 3pts Strike Zone. Surely this has got to be a Strike. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! We’ve finally a Strike. Go, Go, Go Bots get three points.
With hardly any players on the pitch, the Tsudo-Scientists have their work cut out. First Harris Tottle stands back up. Nee Cher moves to pick up the ball and just manages to grab it. Harris Tottle then Pushes his own player! Nee Cher gets two hexes closer to the Strike Zone, giving him chance to go for a Throw. The Throw is good but Mark Zuh fumbles slightly (Duncan burns a card) but somehow catches it before it hits the deck. He immediately shoots and POW! Two Points! Things are finally starting to heat up. 1 to Go, Go, Go Bots.
Now, we’ve got a game on our hands folks. Go, Go, Go Bots keep up the aggressive game – Slamming then remaining Tsudo-Scientists on the pitch. Mark Zuh is only Tsudo-Scientist player left standing on the pitch and WHACK! he’s taken out by Treds. He’ll have time to debate the meaning of life because he’s off for three Rushes. With the pitch to themselves, Dozer grabs the ball and heads to the 2pts Strike Zone. This is what DreadBall is all about, folks. He shoots and… ah, normal service is resumed as Dozer misses the Strike. Still 1 point to the Go, Go, Go Bots.
And that’s the way it stayed for the rest of the game, sports fans! Go, Go, Go Bots scrape through to the final where they’ll face the villains of DreadBall: Something Fishy. Remember, the final will be broadcast (almost) live at 6pm (GMT) this Sunday on the Mantic Facebook page.